One in a Billion

a billion stars in the sky

then one special one came by

dancing delightfully singing its song

nothing possibly could go wrong

the star found its way into my heart

and of myself, I gave all parts

together the love lit my day

together the love inspired my way

how different each moment was then

how joyful and easy my time did spend

Alberta, Canada "Dawn Breaking" Photo Credit: Jane Johann c.2013

Alberta, Canada “Dawn Breaking” Photo Credit: Jane Johann c.2013

all seemed possible in the light

all was beautiful till that night

now that the love has gone

no joy or smile is left in my song

how do I return to what I once had

it is gone forever,  increasingly sad

gathering the pieces is no easy path

fragments of love drowned in a grief bath

weeping, I step through the day

weeping…with only emptiness to pay

 

 

 

begin the next moment like it was our first

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John Denver was a great artist, whose songs touched many lives. John was a human being, like all of us. He had his own demons to wrestle but when he sang, he remembered his true self, the gift he was and he gave his best to us all.

His words were from within him. Like all of us, he too had his heart broken and he broke hearts. We have all made mistakes. We have had our heart broken and we have broken hearts.  Anyone who has truly lived, and is honest with oneself, will have regrets and mistakes.  But we have to move on from the broken pieces, and pick ourselves up and move forward and give the best we have of ourselves to ourselves and to whomever can accept us. We have to let go of the shattered dreams, the mistakes we have made along the way, and live in the present, live in today –in the NOW.

I think that sometimes we allow the negativity of others towards us stop us  from being our true selves. I think sometimes people are cruel to us and harsh — they remember our mistakes of yesterday and can never let them go. “Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”They cannot stop themselves from cutting us down and throwing us into the flames.  And I know, I let those negative statements get to me, to the point I want to give up…because IF I am so evil, why should I be here?  That is WHEN the remarks have really gotten to my core…and I am shaken…and I cannot take one more negative remark.

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Yes, I am wrong often… I made mistakes and I make mistakes everyday! If people only knew how much I struggle with myself about what I did, and what I didn’t do and perhaps should have done, I think they would be amazed.  Maybe if they knew, they would stop giving me a hard time. So, now I am saying it—but those people won’t be reading this.

It all becomes so overwhelming.

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People can make seemingly innocent remarks, but the cut is there. It reminds me of the saying, “What we say to others is as important as how we say it.”

I know I am a very sensitive person and sometimes the words of others come at me with such force, I feel I am drowning and finally, I become like them, and return the frustration to escape. I just want to run far, far away and beg to be left alone.  [Then I am alone, and I can’t stand it! I am a social being].

But I am more than my mistakes. I am more than all I have done wrong. I have done good too and I would never intentionally hurt someone. I know how painful it is.

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I just wish people everywhere would realize that what a person said or did yesterday, does NOT mean that the person is the same today. People change. I have changed.  IF we do not allow for change, we may as well just call it a day and then it is the end. I am not WHO I was yesterday and tomorrow again I will be different.

Hopefully, we constantly evolve and learn. We need to allow for change in one another. We must not pigeon-hole people. Some would say my next remark is way out in left field, but actually it is not. I am just thinking of people who commit felonies in our country. Many are “branded” at eighteen for the rest of their life! They will never have the job they want or could do, because no one will give them the opportunity. They do NOT allow for them to BE, because they once made a horrible mistake and were branded for life. Isn’t that crippling and wrong?

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Most of us are not literally incarcerated, but in some respect we are. People hold grudges and imprison us with their attitude and words if we allow them. Seemingly very honest and upright people can make a person’s work situation hell, if they are in a position of power.  Jealousy and envy are as real today as yesterday and alive and well in the work place.  Church people can be this way too — “If you do not do this or that, you will be lost for all eternity!” For me, that is power and control and not allowing for the humanity of a person to be alive and think and make choices. When someone says, “You have been like this for most of your life, you will probably never be able to change”–WOW!  I have no room for that kind of person in my life…that much I do know!

All of the criticism in our world could stop, if we just would give one another a chance to be human…be allowed to make mistakes…to correct them…and begin the next moment like it was our first!

The only way to do this, is to understand what love is and to live love and love others.  As John says in his song, we cannot give up the dream…”Love is the only dream I know.”

 

holy touch

'My Mom, Agnes Johann, holding her great granddaughter, Nadia Jane Krenn" Photo taken by Jane H. Johann c.2009

‘My Mom, Agnes Johann, holding her great granddaughter, Nadia Jane Krenn” Photo taken by Jane H. Johann c.2009

holy hands of a mother…

delicately, the tender hands hold the newborn child

carefully, the hands prepare nourishing meals for this new life

hands so deftly created and styled

holy hands of the artist…

the fingers and thumb raise the clay

the palm of the hand cushions the brush’s handle

the movement of the arm controlling the pen for the day

holy hands of need…

 

hands grasping…looking for the steady confidence of friend

hands outstretched, seeking help

hands vulnerable, courageously seeking a mend

 

holy hands of friendship…

hands palms open, hands open for receiving

hands holding on to one another

hand saying hello and releasing

holy hands of love

hands expressing gentle acceptance

hands healing without reluctance

hands of love, gracious presence

"A Great Grandmother's Kiss" December 26, 2008. Photo credit: c. Jane H. Johann. 2008

“A Great Grandmother’s Kiss” December 26, 2008. Photo credit: c. Jane H. Johann. 2008

the Queen of Narcissism

Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann, c.August, 2015, Perennial Garden Backyard; Palmyra, WI.

Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann, c.August, 2015, Perennial Garden Backyard; Palmyra, WI.

Tall and stately
the gentle Queen
steps into the world
of dream
*
Steadfast
in her loyalty
Dignified
in her beauty
*
She walks forth
promising truth to all
but deep inside
the evil calls
*
The accolades
are never enough
More is needed
to satisfy the bluff
*
Satisfaction
slips through her hands
like the water
washed upon the sand
*
Meanwhile her subjects
One by one
Fall to their death
While she walks on
*
No rest for her
In a frenzied chase
Forever lost
Never to win the race
*
Disclaimer Notice:     This blog contains works of fiction/nonfiction. Names, characters, businesses,places, events and incident are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise noted.
The short stories, the musings, the photography  or images(except where otherwise noted), the paintings and the poetry are my original work. These texts are protected under International Copyright ©laws.  Whenever any image or writing is created or written by another individual, proper credit is given to that individual if known. Every effort is made to give credit where credit is due.   All rights are reserved by the owner (author).Reblogs on WordPress are permitted as long as proper credit and links are provided to this site.  None of my writings, paintings or postings should be downloaded, reproduced, copied, projected or used in any manner without written permission of the owner (author).Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights. I appreciate your integrity and hope you will respect mine. Thank you! 
Jane H. Johann      October, 2011           ©2011-2020 Jane H. Johann. All Rights Reserved.

What I write on my blog…just a reminder

10959370_874684022552539_5363602217544825363_nIt is true that sometimes I write from my personal experiences and sometimes I write from the personal experiences of others…and sometimes my imagination carries me to places, events and situations.  I do read a great deal on the internet and in books and I do listen to many stories and situations. And I suppose there is always some hint of truth about my life that occurs in what I write. WE ARE ALL ONE.   However, never assume that what I write is directly about me or about my life or my family or the people with whom I associate.

I do not want to cause unnecessary worry to anyone or harm to anyone’s reputation because of what I write.

This is a blog about people, women, men, children, nature, and animals. It covers the gamut of human emotions: love, truth, happiness, worry, struggle, perseverance, confidence, indecisiveness, fear, perceptions, struggles,  concern, individuals, battles won and lost, in a word:  LIFE.

That being said, I really do MEAN what I wrote in the DISCLAIMER NOTICE:

Disclaimer Notice:     This blog contains works of fiction/nonfiction. Names, characters, businesses,places, events and incident are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise noted.
The short stories, the musings, the photography  or images(except where otherwise noted), the paintings and the poetry are my original work. These texts are protected under International Copyright ©laws.  Whenever any image or writing is created or written by another individual, proper credit is given to that individual if known. Every effort is made to give credit where credit is due.   All rights are reserved by the owner (author).Reblogs on WordPress are permitted as long as proper credit and links are provided to this site.  None of my writings, paintings or postings should be downloaded, reproduced, copied, projected or used in any manner without written permission of the owner (author).Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights. I appreciate your integrity and hope you will respect mine. Thank you! 
Jane H. Johann      October, 2011           ©2011-2020 Jane H. Johann. All Rights Reserved.

Just somebody I used to know

we would drive and drive

and never kne10556475_10154557311990650_6455727370422081795_nw we had arrived

we bathed in the conversation of two

all sadness dissipated into the blue

the moment of the clock spun round

and never a time spent in a frown

the days moved on and so did you

but you forgot me like an old shoe

somehow your mind was somewhere else

you left and I remain with a dead pulse