Photo Credit; Jane H. Johann, Dec. 2014 “Moving On”
OR…The Saga of the Metatarsal and HOPE and PROMISE…
My second metatarsal has just been diagnosed by three different professionals, who each have their own opinion that differs from the other two. Alas, my toe is in limbo!
The third diagnosis is from an Orthopedic Surgeon and he said something to the effect that the toe is NOT dislocated and that perhaps I damaged some sort of cap on the toe joint, and he could do surgery and go in and clean it up or I could try orthotics. He suggested I purchase a customized orthotic, unlike the manufactured one that I purchased at the suggestion of the Podiatrist.
As a result of three different consultations, I am choosing the customized orthotic and hobbling on through life. I have had several surgeries on both my right and left hands, and I am not readily choosing to have my foot as damaged as they now are.
I think underlying the entire toe issue, is my inability to have a VOICE in life to the extent that I did previous to my “retirement”–I dislike the word, “retirement” immensely. I cannot seem to dig myself out of my present circumstances. When I do venture out into the world, I am very sensitive to the reactions of those around me and those who respond to me or to those who choose not to respond to me. I read what is happening in the world–the disregard for human life, the destruction of civilizations, the killing of cultures, the disregard for compassion–I am so incredibly saddened and dismayed. I am trying with all of my might to hold on to hope and promise!
Human beings matter! Children matter! Each person matters! and I feel so helpless.
I argue with myself about what to post on my blog—should I expose more of the struggles we all seem to be facing these days? Or, should I post happy things and poems of hope and promise. On the one hand, I feel people need to be aware of what is happening and hope that my words may cause a small ripple of change; on the other hand, I am sure everyone is aware of all the horror we experience in our lives these days. So then I think, I should offer some lightness and hope…and another day of promise! Thus, when I write happy, funny poems or things distant from reality, it is because I want to put my mind and the minds of others into an arena of hope and promise. That is all I can offer at this point and I am sorry to all of my readers for failing to see this earlier as what I need to do on this blog. That being said, forgive me if I fall back and lament every once in awhile!
Yoshiko, I tried to go to your blog through your Gravatar and it is NOT connected to your blog site. I cannot reach you! I have an entry on my blog how to connect your Gravatar to your blog site—it did work in the past, but I am not sure if the procedure was changed.
https://johannisthinking.com/2013/05/02/link-your-wordpress-blog-manually-to-gravatar-or-we-wont-find-you/
Hope you are your 4 year old and husband are doing well! Blessings to you!
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Feels like we live in quicksand. I hear you and share your struggles as we are highly sensitive and aware people and feel the ‘realness’ of the world too much I fear, but I haven’t figured a way to turn back or away from where we have evolved to. Going to email you separately about arthritis, feet, etc.
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Thank you, Mary Jane, for your visit! I am surrounded by the unknown and trying to keep my inner peace.
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Life is not perfect, and if sharing makes it better, that’s a good thing.
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Thank you for your comment and visit!
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Someone once told me that “retirement” was really “repurposement.” Struggle is a good thing in many ways for it prompts us to look deeply into our thought process on how we define our participation within our every changing mercurial world. As you know, I’ve been reading Joseph Campbell. Here is a quote that resonated with me: “People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
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Beautiful thoughts, Rebecca…thank you for sharing! I think Joseph has it! I do enjoy his thought processing but have not read much of him…after Catherine Bateson I will move on to him! Thanks for the direction! Blessings on your day, Rebecca!
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Powerful sharing of your authentic voice and isn’t it interesting how sometimes the very things we need to pay attention to manifest in physical ailments somewhere in our bodies? Wishing you all the best on healing.
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Yes, I was being honest in my writing…thank you for your good wishes!
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Take care and all the best for complete healing.
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Thank you, Mary! I think if I spent more time painting, I would feel even better!
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Love that thought!
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🙂
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All the things I wanted to say has been said by someone already has said
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Yes, Ayden has it in a nutshell! lol
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[…] Part Three: Dislocated Toe and Adulthood 2. […]
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