Picking up Memories

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                                 a little sister’s love for her brother

Part IV: Tales of Bellingham: Real People NOT “Shadow People”

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 "Bellingham"

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
“Bellingham”

This winter, I found myself in Bellingham, a city of contrasts and beauty. Along the waterfront of Bellingham Bay, hundreds of expensive yachts dot the shores and then there are the Homeless People sleeping without comfort or blankets in the doorways of businesses two blocks away.

This is an account of my experience with the people who find themselves homeless in this city with a small town atmosphere.

Since my daughter worked during the day, I had a lot of time on my hands after cleaning the one bedroom apartment.  So I would carry my feet out the door, and begin walking.

The “Old Downtown” begins with the Lighthouse Mission, that is just a stone’s throw away from Whatcom Creek. During the day, many homeless people frequent the park, sitting on the concrete steps or on a few park benches that grace the green park. Usually, many just sit on the ground in a group, drinking the free coffee that the library provides them.

For the first several weeks, I shyly watched their activity, passed them in the early morning hours as they lay sleeping in the entrances to many of the businesses down the main street. Some were wrapped in sleeping bags, others, piled with layers of clothes and cardboard. My daughter, who works at one of the Social agencies in town, told me that there is a two year waiting list for subsidized housing in this city. The average rent for an apartment is between $650 and upwards. The average social assistance check for an individual without any financial means, is about $720. So how does a person who is living homeless, raise themselves out of that situation without an advocate?

Perhaps if we could each adopt one Homeless person, we  might succeed. How do we begin?

I thought I needed to begin to do something. And my beginning was overcoming my fear and speaking to a Homeless person and to see them as a human being.

The weather this past winter was moderate, not 70 degrees but survivable outdoors. While I was there the temperature lingered around 40 degrees F (4.4 degrees C). Still, I could not imagine lying on the cold concrete all night long, with the usual morning fog precipitation, and waking up feeling invigorated.

Each day, I would leave the apartment and say to myself, “Today is the day I will speak to a Homeless person.”

I walked with fear and my usual shyness among them. Obviously, Mother Teresa I was not!

Maybe that is one of the reasons of WHY she is so admired. She stepped out of her comfort zone and did for thousands of people what so many of us fear to do for one person.

I have been away from city life for the greater part of the last 29 years. I read about the Homeless people and do NOT like addressing them as shadow people–as someone graciously corrected me, because if we call them shadow people, we are stripping them of their reality and situation, making them less human to ourselves. We are removing them one more step from ourselves. So, yes, I have read about the Homeless, on occasion I have handed out dollar bills when going into the city. Quickly being admonished by others for giving out money. But then I think, “Hey, once in a while it is nice to have some real money in my hand and make my decision as to what to buy with it.” I have also handed out McDonald’s bags—not too sure about that nutritional value. I have handed out fruit—but more often, dollar bills.

Now I found there were many Homeless people all around me. Every day I walked among them. And in the four weeks that I walked through Bellingham City, NOT once did a Homeless Person approach me or ask for money.

I felt very uneasy…guilty that I had a place to stay…and they had none.  I had food to eat everyday, and most of them had none.  I was working up my courage to approach one of them and help them in any way that I could.  I guess, in truth, it is part of my underlying issue of having a purpose myself, of wanting to stay involved in the human struggle and make a difference.

I thought, “They are people and deserve recognition and dignity. Any one of us could find ourselves in this very situation.”

So one morning, I spotted this young lady, about in her 40’s, sleeping in a door entrance on West Holly Street,  not far from Whatcom Park. She had about three blankets piled high upon her, in addition to disheveled hair and layers of clothes.  I began walking towards her and was determined I would speak to her and buy her breakfast. I was about three feet from her, when she suddenly jumped up from her sleep, and literally went  dancing into the streets, screaming and waving her arms and continued at an incredible pace down the street. My initial  reaction was being startled by her behavior and then I thought, “Oh my God, I frightened her!” Then, I did not know what to do because by that time, she was quite a distance from me.  She disappeared from my sight and I was left with my thoughts.  I didn’t know what to do or to whom to speak to about my experience.  And, she also had to no one to talk to…no one to share her experience with…socialization is a missing component when one is homeless. It was obvious to me, that this woman needed medical assistance.  This is another missing component of our society–many of the mentally challenged are not helped. Why are they not taken care of by us? Is our neglect born out of fear, born out of legalities of the law, born out of the complacency in our society that these things are NOT our personal issues and we do not have to get involved?

That day passed with no resolution.

The next day, Christmas Eve morning,  as I was walked a bit further East and down Cornwall Street, I spotted this very tall lady, wearing sweatpants that were just below her knee, leaving a good 12 inches bare to the wind, an oversized jacket, and some tattered gloves on her hands. She appeared to be about 70ish and had long white hair neatly tucked under the red tuque that donned her head. She was also carrying a trash bag. Then I later heard from another acquaintance that I met there, who has since become a good friend, that Marta makes the rounds throughout the neighborhood and collects all the aluminum cans that she can carry, every Tuesday.

I passed Marta and then stopped myself. I turned around, and returned to her and said, “Excuse me. I know you don’t know me. I am just  visiting the city and was wondering if you could give me directions.”  It was not that I needed directions, but I didn’t know how else to begin the conversation. Marta responded very politely to me and we talked a little, and she told me where she lived and then we parted.  I walked a bit further, and then I called back to her. I said, “You know, tomorrow is Christmas. I want to share something with you. I handed her some money.” She said, “Are you sure?”  I said, “Please, it isn’t much but you are working so hard to help keep this city beautiful. You deserve it.” She finally accepted it and went on her way.

I don’t know what she did with the money, but I thought she would put it to good use. I don’t know if it helped or not—what I do know is, that I make contact with another human being and recognized her as a person. I am sure I benefitted more from the encounter than she did. I do suppose it was more for my growth than hers.

The week continued, and I made more conversations with more Homeless people.  My uneasiness was beginning to evaporate.  Eventually, I carried with me a bag of apples, and would offer a piece of fruit to those I met along the way.

During one of my final weeks in Bellingham, I encountered a man named Chuck, seated on the steps of Lara’s apartment building, under the overhang, and he was nursing a cup of brew, and reading a book. As I was entering the building, I said, “Hi, what are you reading?”

Chuck told me about the science fiction book by Philip Pullman, and I recognized the author from my teaching experience. We spoke for a bit. He told me he was waiting for a ride to a day job, painting and helping a carpenter contractor. He said he didn’t get much work since his stroke, had been in Vietnam and was a vet. He was planning to marry this summer. Chuck was about 60 something, grey-haired and a friendly fellow. Our conversation ended and I entered the apartment. I put some food together in a bag, and took it out to him. He thanked me and then I returned to my warm apartment, thinking, “…this man has done so much for so many. He is trying to do the best he can for himself.”

We met a few more times, and then I told him I would be leaving Bellingham soon to return to Wisconsin. Chuck then said this to me, “I am so happy we met. You didn’t judge me. You stopped to talk to me. You treated me like a human person. I can just feel it when people are judging me, thinking I am nothing. Thank you.  Thank you for making me feel like a worthwhile human being.”

I returned the favor to him, saying, “You made my daytime less lonely. It was good to talk with you. Thank you!”

Later that day, I went downtown to a book store, looking for the sequel to the book he was reading. I found the next two books to THE GOLDEN COMPASS and decided to purchase them for Chuck. I created a card, wrote him a note, stuck a few dollars in it, and wrapped the books.

I didn’t see him anymore before my departure…and felt sad about that, but then Lara surprised me and said, “Mom, I will watch for Chuck and give him your gift.”

I was so happy to hear her words!

And last Friday, more than a month since I left, Chuck reappeared on the doorsteps. Lara saw him and gave him the gift. She said he was so happy!

I received so much more than the very little I gave to these people, who are sleeping and living on the streets of Bellingham.  I am very blessed to have what I have but I also know I need to do more for others. Now I am again in my cornfields, and I have to find a way out of the maze.

The Homeless People of Bellingham made me feel welcomed to their wonderful city!

 

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I have found several very good suggestions on Facebook about little ways people can help the Homeless People. One suggestion is to get some sandwich bags, put a healthy grain bar inside, a piece of fruit, perhaps a toothbrush, toothpaste, nail clippers,  a wash cloth…any small item that would be useful to a person who has no home.

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DEFINITIONS

tuque: Canadian term for woolen hat

Writer’s dream, writer’s hope

John Coyote is the author of this writing piece.  Please direct your affirmations and comments to his blog:

https://johncoyote.wordpress.com/2016/02/16/writers-dream-writers-hope

Thank you! Blessings on all of us and our children.

 

johncoyote's avatarjohncoyote

Brother peace, sister love.

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

"

War is alive and well. Why?

"

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English: PEARL HARBOR (Nov. 11, 2010) Naval St...

English: PEARL HARBOR (Nov. 11, 2010) Naval Station Regional Ceremonial Guard conducts a 21-gun salute in honor of Sailors and submarines lost during World War II during a Veteran’s Day ceremony at the USS Parche Submarine Memorial Park at Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Ronald Gutridge/Released) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(A prayer for peace)

  Brother peace, sister love.

I had sat by graves of 20,000 Soldiers killed in World War two outside of Paris.  Men who died for freedom. The last war. I wonder would they understand the blunders of their children?

The world celebrated salvation and peace on a good day on September 2, 1945.

Brother peace and sister love was alive and well.

My father followed his father into new wars. I…

View original post 288 more words

Part III: Tales of Bellingham… Pickett Bridge –Shelter for the Homeless

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 "Sleeping Refuge for the Homeless"

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
“Sleeping Refuge for the Homeless”

 

steps of the military are silent now

but those who were among their rank

sleep below the bridge in the winter cold

as their hopes and dreams went blank

Dads and Moms returning, hugging their kids

flags fly high on Independence Day

however, no one knows the face of these vets

but, hey, medals are given with full array

they gave the best of their youthful life

they responded and answered the country’s cry

and now they have no mind left to think

…and so…one by one…once again they die

 

“boots on the ground”

the leaders did cry

But no one understood

No one really knew why

Just that everyone saw

It was not their sons and daughters who died

While under the bridge

The HOMELESS slept

Under the bridge

…the forgotten vet

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 "Shelter for the Homeless"

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
“Shelter for the Homeless”

 

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Pickett Bridge was constructed by Major General George Pickett in 1857.  The original bridge was made of wood planks and later replaced with a more modern construction, as seen in the above photo.

I found this blog relating to Pickett Bridge, if you would enjoy seeing what the original bridge looked like, go to this link: https://hamtopia.wordpress.com/2013/07/22/the-bridge-that-george-pickett-built/comment-page-1/#comment-99

Part II: Tales of Bellingham, Washington… Whatcom Creek

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 Whatcom Creek Walkway along Whatcom Creek flowing into Bellingham Bay

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
Whatcom Creek
Walkway along Whatcom Creek flowing into Bellingham Bay

 

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 "Whatcom Creek" with Pickett Bridge build in 1865 offering a path above the water.

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
“Whatcom Creek” with an improved modern bridge named Pickett Bridge after Major General George Pickett, who in 1857, had built  a wooden bridge at the same location.

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 Whatcom Creek

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
Whatcom Creek

Whatcom Creek is just a short distance from where I was staying in Bellingham.  It is a refreshing sight to behold! A beautiful park graces the creek as you near the old downtown area of Bellingham. There is a wooded path along either side of the four mile stretch of water.  The creek begins at Whatcom Falls and empties into Bellingham A museum curator explained to me that the name “Whatcom” means “Lots of Noise.” The story  behind the name is that when White settlers came into the area, they made a great deal of noise with their logging operation and so the Native Lumni People, called the place, “Whatcom.”  However, upon further study, I have discovered that Whatcom means “noisy or rumbling water” in the Lumni language.  I do imagine the logging story is a bit more colorful for some.

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2015"Whatcom Creek" Bellingham WA

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2015″Whatcom Creek” Bellingham WA

 

 

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 "Black-crowned Night-Heron" Whatcom Creek, Bellingham, WA

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
“Black-crowned Night-Heron” Whatcom Creek, Bellingham, WA

As I was walking along the creek one day, I spotted a “Black-crowned Night Heron” taking in the calm of the creek. He sat there for at least a half hour resting his wings, joined by a number of Mallards, who escaped before I could capture them on my cell camera. However, the ever present seagulls were content to pose for me.

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 Seagull along Whatcom Creek.

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
Seagull along Whatcom Creek.

Copyright ©Jane H. Johann, 2016 Seagull along Whatcome Creek in January, 2016

Copyright
©Jane H. Johann, 2016
Seagull along Whatcom Creek in January, 2016

Part I: Tales of Bellingham, Washington

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During the past  six months, I had the opportunity on two separate occasions to travel to Bellingham, Washington, with my youngest daughter, Lara, who just returned from two years in Togo with the Peace Corps. She was offered employment there and so we went together to go apartment hunting, along with her Aunt Kathy. I returned at Christmas because this old mother did not want her to have a third Christmas in a row without family.

I love the Pacific Northwest! It is beautiful and the weather not as extreme as I am now experiencing in Wisconsin. The Cascade Mountains, Mt. Baker specifically, and the trees and plants are just a sight to behold! Beauty beyond description!

"Mt. Baker" Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann, c.October, 2015. Taken from "Artist's Point" on the slopes of the Cascade Mountain Range.

“Mt. Baker” Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann, c.October, 2015. Taken from “Artist’s Point” on the slopes of the Cascade Mountain Range.

The people are warm and friendly in Bellingham. The city has a small town atmosphere and I felt very comfortable ambling through the streets during the day, while Lara was at work. I think I averaged three to four miles a day, walking through the city and taking in so many different expressions of life. I was careful not to walk to far West!  A far cry from the quiet soybean and cornfields that surround me here in southeastern Wisconsin.

Lara’s apartment is just two blocks from the view of Bellingham Bay as seen in the enclosed photo in this writing piece. It is also only a half block from the several train tracks.

"Trains of Bellingham" Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann.c.2016, January.

“Trains of Bellingham” Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann.c.2016, January.

The first night, after my 26 hour journey (who knew it would take that long from Wisconsin~ another story!) to Bellingham, I fell asleep very quickly, only to be startled awake at 11 PM with a train running over me! Or, so I thought! Then there was another at midnight and so on, until 3 AM. It was an adjustment, but I did get there by the end of the month and quickly learned not to complain about the noise of the trains to Bellingham residents. They take pride in living close to the tracks and the trains hold a deep connection to them — I am not quite sure what that is yet–will let you all know once I figure it out. However, the trains are delightful to see and appreciate–especially the art work on the various freight cars.

 

 

"Art on the Rails" Bellingham, WA, USA. Photo Credit: . Jane H. Johann, Jan. 2016

“Art on the Rails” Bellingham, WA, USA. Photo Credit: . Jane H. Johann, Jan. 2016

 

 

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Everyday I found something new to appreciate in the city of Bellingham.

A different kind of posting…

"Light at the End of Cloud Trails"

“Light at the End of Cloud Trails”

Well, I have not posted much in the last year. And, when I did, it has been sporadic. I have been battling issues on many fronts. I am trying to keep myself from sinking.  Some days I dip deep into the murky water and other days, I fly high into the beautiful clouds and sunshine.

My heart is sad.

I have tried so terribly hard to post only positive things and good, loving images…to inspire others not to give up. And now…my heart is bleeding and I am unable to do it. So my posts have become less and less.

I do NOT consider myself anywhere near sainthood. I have made many mistakes over my lifetime and each time, I try to pick myself up and “never give up”—a poem I found when I was a senior in high school spoke these words to me:”Never give up..Give it one more try”……and so that has been my motto for many, many moons.

But some days it is such a great struggle.

My last piece, “Listen…and walk in Everlasting Shoe,”  was a call to MY own inner spirit to wake up and be there for others.

Then a few people attacked me, accusing me of thinking I am better than others.  Well, to that I say, hell no…that is precisely the problem I have—I think and feel I am worse than most—and so I write those words to wake myself up and to be aware of what others are suffering.

I became a teacher many years ago. I had watched the movie, a script fashioned after James Hilton’s novel, Goodbye Mr. Chips. I said to myself, “That is the kind of teacher I want to be!”  And, much to the consternation of my parents, I pursued the teaching career. I taught for 36 years—–and then, the Republicans came into power. A long story and I am sure many would argue I got what I deserved—I had no right to be creative and treat the students like people—they were “clients” afterall.   I am a person who is very hard on herself.  I literally give 100% to something I pursue—and that was my weakness—because I was beaten on every level—for seven years.  In the end, I lost 18 inches of my large intestine and had to resign. My friends told me, “Jane, resign or you will be killed.”  I took their advice and resigned. And since then, I have been struggling greatly in trying to find myself and to find a purpose for my life. It has been quite difficult. I see so much suffering everywhere…and I do not know what I have to offer…because no one seems to want it.  I planned in my idealized vision, to teach until I dropped…and then, to come to such an abrupt and brutal ending, it was more than I could take…and I hadn’t planned for it. So, I was lost and I still am.

There have been other personal issues which have taken me to the brink of disaster. In an effort to protect the innocent, I shall not write about them.

Sometimes I wonder, “Why is there so much suffering?”  “Why do people not trust each other?  “Why is there so much loneliness in our world?”  “Why do people not care anymore?”

I still do not know the answer.

Yes, there are the people who do good for others…there are people who get awards for this or that…but then I see the thousands of homeless throughout our cities…the thousands of people in homes who are as isolated as those on the streets.  I wonder, WHY?  I read that the suicide rate for elderly people living in the countryside is an all time high. I read that now people between the ages of 30 and 59 are committing suicide at an alarming rate. Everyday, I read about another “murder-suicide”—–either between a couple, or, yet worse, between a couple and their children—all end up killed.  What is happening to our world?

I do not know the answers.

I question myself constantly about what I can do personally to make this world better.  Some times I can go in spurts and give my best and write uplifting things.  Lately, I feel so much pain inside of myself, that I cannot find the strength to write about goodness.  I feel I have failed my friends.  I am sorry.  I am doing my best.

I am so grateful for WordPress and the people on here. Even when the despair surrounds me, and there is darkness all around me,  something pulls me back to WordPress. And I begin reading the works of others—-and I see how much their words and reflections help me to go on.  To all of you, I say THANK YOU!  Never think that your words are worthless or meaningless—you have all touched me along the path of life—your words! You do have purpose and you have helped me continue…

Thank you!

 

 

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

“You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart…”

Thich Nhat Hahn

Photo Credit; Jane H. Johann, Dec. 2014 "Walk in the Shoes of One Another"

Photo Credit; Jane H. Johann, Dec. 2014 “Walk in the Shoes of One Another”

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

among the broken-hearted

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

…hear the sighs–the silent whispers of the child

waiting for a hug of reassurance

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

…feel the judgment

we lay upon the homeless…

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

…crawl into the skin

of those oppressed because of the color of their skin

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

…touch the loneliness unspoken

of the aged in the walls of the nursing home

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

…open your arms to those battered

and abused

Listen…and walk in everlasting shoes

 

 

 

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“to walk in everlasting shoes”–Victorian era— to walk barefoot

Haiku: Water Waves

Lake Michigan, Port Washington, WI September 26, 2016 PHOTO CREDIT: c. Jane H. Johann

Lake Michigan, Port Washington, WI September 26, 2016 PHOTO CREDIT: c. Jane H. Johann

 

 

waves of emotions

surfacing from deep within

awakening souls