each WOMAN, each young GIRL is a GIFT…treat yourself with respect and treat her with respect!

Girl at sunset

Girl at sunset (Photo credit: nxb)

The young girl and woman in our world needs to be elevated to personhood! How many thousands of light years have passed, and still women and girls are treated with disdain and lack of respect?  Women and young girls are looked upon as only sex objects or slaves in every country and society of this world. Too many women and young girls do not think they are worth something without a man beside them.

Women and girls everywhere must believe in their own innate goodness!  We are worthy because we are!  Each woman and girl is worthy because she was born!  Being born makes you worthy!

Our connection to ourselves and to each other is broken. We must revitalize that connection to each other. We must look at our very nature which is to give life…and I am not just speaking about procreation…I am talking about our nature to be life-givers…love-givers…nurturers! We have to give that love to ourselves. We need to respect our own needs and desires.  Naturally, we eat when we are hungry, we sleep when we are tired, but when we need love, do we tell ourselves: “I love you, Self!” ?

I read just the other day of a  15 year old girl who was gang-raped. The law enforcement did next to nothing to help her in her situation. The young boys who sexually abused her were not brought to task for their deed but instead, ridiculed the girl even more after the horrific event! The ability of the sexual abusers to disseminate the poor plight of this young girl through the social media that is available today , drove this girl to her death.  Ultimately, she committed suicide. Unfortunately, I believe this same horrible crime occurs everyday somewhere in this world.  The woman or girl is blamed for being female and the “boys were just being boys.”  Rape is murder — it is murder of the human spirit of the girl or woman!

I feel we are all at fault for not promoting the self-worth of the female person. Women everywhere need to help other women. Help each other and each day make it your priority to uplift one woman or one girl. Make one positive statement to that person — we need each other!

First, as a person, we need to know that we have worth. We are alive!  We have to first love ourselves…we are able to do this by recognizing that we are gift.  We need to be for ourselves what we think others can do for us.  BE the WORTH that you look for in others!

Raised in a Catholic home, and often told that God loved me, I was also constantly reminded that I should and ought to be selfless, and to love others and to help others.  Somehow, to help myself, did not occur to me.  Somehow, I received the message that if I did things for myself, then I was NOT being a good Christian.  I was being selfish and not thinking of what I could do to help someone else. Today, I still struggle with loving myself as I should. I still struggle with self-worth, and I have two college degrees, held teaching jobs for over 36 years, helped to raise my three daughters, and still struggle with self-esteem! The external things are there that would say I was relatively successful in life, but my interior compass, needs constant reassurance and strengthening. I have to take the time each day to meditate and go to that inner core and find my worth.  I have to do this for me! I take the time for me! Quiet and mediation because I am worth the time!

Women and girls need to believe they are worth being loved in truth!

Do not accept being hit or abused as a form of love.  That is not love.  Would you hit yourself? Would you scream and berate yourself? “NO! Of course not, you say to me.”  Well, then do NOT accept that behavior from your husband or boyfriend.  YOU have WORTH!

Seek out that partner who loves your gentle soul.  Seek out that partner who does not need to control you, your every move, your friendships…that person is NOT healthy and is a control freak and manipulative. True love is trusting and allows freedom to love many.  I am NOT negating committed relationships.  I just think that when one person tells another whom they can speak to –this erodes your own responsibility to care for yourself and make your own decisions.  When your boyfriend or husband tries to distance you from your family, it is a control issue.  It is not because he cares about you. That person wants you under his power. Once a boyfriend or husband breaks that boundary of hitting you, it will happen again, again, again, again and again…until your spirit is so broken…that you will either die or wither…and then…will you be fortunate to find that last glimmer of hope to lift yourself from the ashes? or ….?

Do NOT think you do not have worth, because you do not have a man on your arm. I know that there are good men and good teenage boys…however, IF you need someone else to complete you, then you have NOT done your homework for yourself. Then you do not love and respect yourself !   No one can complete you but you!

Believe in you!

You are WORTHY….you should not be hit or abused in any way!

We have to see that we have all that we need within…go to your core…and listen to your inner heart.  Darling, talk to yourself and tell you that you love you each morning when you awake!

Tell yourself, “Darling, you are on a fascinating journey and you are doing a great job each day!”

And when you find yourself in a situation that is not good, do as this saying suggests, author unknown, “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.”

Please remember, that the universe thought you were a good idea… and DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOU…ever!

Relationships are good and important in our lives, helping one another is good and important in our lives…but we have to first love ourselves, only then, can we truly love another.  As Goethe said, “Believe in yourself, and you will know how to live.”

As the saying goes, “Understand that you own nothing. Everything that surrounds you is temporary. Only the love in your heart will last forever.”  And, YOU are LOVE!

“I wish that I could show you that when  you are alone or in darkness, the astonishing LIGHT of your own being!”   Hafiz

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18 thoughts on “each WOMAN, each young GIRL is a GIFT…treat yourself with respect and treat her with respect!

  1. glkaye2013 says:

    Thank you Jane for your words of love and wisdom. Bless your brave woman’s heart.

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  2. shanesbookblog says:

    Love this Jane!

    Truer words have yet to be spoken.

    You are a gift to all of us, a blessing to the world…and a great human being!

    ❤ -Hugz-

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    • dear Shane, I feel like I have known you all of my life…you are truly a son of mine…I hope you continue in your writing, as I know you want to do wonders with computer technology, etc….you have such a gentle soul! I hope you know that I do believe that there are good men — such as yourself –out in the universe! thank you for your very special words!

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    • dear Shane,
      Last week was a week…and the “full moon” still seems to be causing havoc–not just with the tides of the sea! I am glad I returned to read these comments…I feel so bruised inside –your words soothe my weak, emotional heart! Thank you!

      Like

  3. tersiaburger says:

    Fantastic post. Wish I knew how to get it wordpressed

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  4. Kozo says:

    So much wisdom and hope here. Thank you for this guide to how women deserve to be treated by men and by themselves. Audrie Pott, the 15 year old rape victim, lived a few cities down from me. I agree that “we are all at fault for not promoting the self-worth of the female person.” As a man, I am working to cultivate counter-patriarchal compassion. I want to be part of the solution to gender inequality rather than the problem. Reading posts like this helps me empathize with what women face in our society.
    I love your advice to turn inward. It reminds me of Kristen Neff’s work with Self-Compassion. She gave a TEDtalk that would fit nicely with your post. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

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    • Thank you, Kozo! I am glad that you are a gentleman working towards resolving this issue of gender inequality. I was worried after I posted this…I was hoping I was not implying that ALL men are horrible…or that every relationship is terrible. Certainly not my intent! I was caught up in a situation close to me…thus, I am honored that it is received well. Yes, it is so tragic what happened to Audrie Pott. How horrific life must have felt to her and how terribly, terribly sad for her family to lose her in such a violent manner.

      Thank you for mentioning the book of Kristen Neff. I will have to search for it.

      Thank you for visiting my blog. I just visited yours today –several times, in fact! I love your idea of PEACE BLOGGERS. I am going to participate as much as I can. I am not the savvy with computer technology and am still learning how to do WordPress. I tried using the widget application to post your BLOGGERS for PEACE Icon, but was unsuccessful. I will try again. Thank you again for your very kind words on my posting!

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  5. Thank you for this strong, powerful article in defense of young girls and women all over the world. It is still amazing and discouraging to me to realize that things have not changed that much over the years when it comes to male disrespect and intolerance. One must continue to bring it to the world’s attention.

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  6. pilbra says:

    Beautiful to read brilliant post

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  7. The systems are set up for these horrific things to happen. The fear of female power and the universal hatred of females allows the males in power to write laws and enforce laws that protect men and their actions, when it comes to what they do to females. Until that changes, the nightmare will continue. Females live in a war zone their entire lives. Females are judged and ridiculed and called any number of derogatory names. The biggest insult to a man is told they throw like “a girl,” or anything having to do with being female. It’s everywhere. Women are naked on billboards, standing next to fully clothed men. Females are kept purposely poor so that they are dependent upon males. Poverty forces females to put up with terrible lives and there are no choices. Women are paid less. They are seen as less, believed to be “other.” We are prey. Toys. One of my professors said that men can love an individual women but men hate women as a whole. We need to change this but men have the power and women are afraid. That is the point, women are terrorized into non action. Men beat, rape, murder women and the law protects them. Women are not protected, under the law because the laws were written by men who beat, rape and murder women or know friends who do. Women are not allowed out alone, not allowed out at night. Rape on campus is astronomical. It’s hushed up and women are still being asked WHAT THEY WERE WEARING, as if that was a reason for rape. We need a starting point. We need to stop violence against women and children. We need to find a way to make women matter.

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    • You have said it all very clearly and you are absolutely correct in all that you have written, in my estimation. It is appalling to me the continual dehumanization of girls, young women and women in general — worldwide! Thank you for coming to my blog and presenting your views! I would like to republish your comment on Facebook, if you do not mind? Blessings and onward and may we both be strong in our voice to protect women everywhere!

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    • thank you, Miss Betty, for the reblog! I appreciate it very much. Hope you are doing well! I am taking care of my grandchildren many days– right now they are busy with a PBSKIDS game…so I have a few minutes to work on my blog. I lost your phone number—crazy cell phones! I preferred the phone you could plug into the wall! Thank you for your visits! Hope you are still creating art! I love YOUR “door!” I have been tempted to create a painting of one myself after seeing yours! It is magnificent!

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  8. […] each WOMAN, each young GIRL is a GIFT…treat yourself with respect and treat her with respect!. […]

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  9. So nice to meet you out here in the blogosphere. Thanks again for following my blog. 🙂

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  10. dilipnaidu says:

    Beautiful and inspiring post honouring women! Fortunately since recent years women are gradually asserting themselves and becoming financially independent.

    Liked by 1 person

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