swinging on a star

Yesterday, Nadia asked me, “What happens when we die?” as both she and her brother, Ayden,  were sitting on the swings, and I was pushing them into the air.

I do not know why I said what I did, but I said, “Well, we begin with Love…we are with God and he asks us if we want to go on vacation to Earth, and then we visit awhile, and then one day our bodies become old and we go back to God.”

Nadia said, “But I will miss you, Nanny, when you die!”

Of course, that tender response brought tears to my eyes, so I added, “Well, I will always be with you, Nadia and Ayden, because then I will be an angel watching over you.  And you just need to remember that I am there…”

Ayden persisted, “But then do we become angels too? I am a boy…can boys be angels? Every picture of an angel I see has long hair and looks like a girl!”

Nadia chimed in, “An angel? Really?”  She was definitely more enthusiastic about being an angel and was laughing with delight, “Then I can fly like the birds into the sky?”

I addressed Ayden’s question first, “Ayden, yes boys are angels too! Some artists are still learning to draw! There are boy angels! When you are an angel, you can visit anyone anytime…you can float on the clouds…it will be a wonderful party.”

Ayden seemed relieved and he said, “You mean, I can fly like a bird too?”

“Yes, Adyen! High like the eagles!” I said enthusiastically.

Nadia said, “I am still little. I don’t want to die yet.”

To this I replied, “I do not want you to die either, as I would be very, very sad and miss you!  But  I am sure you will have a long life.  I plan to be around for a long time…so we will have lots of fun!” It was getting a bit serious for me–and I realized that we were discussing a very important concept for them.  I did not want them to deny their perceptions of death, that there is suffering, but there is also much more than that! But we cannot accept life, without accepting that death is a part of life—yes, too deep…too deep for me.  All this is running through my brain, and they were persistent in wanting answers.

Then Nadia said, “But what about our bones?”

“Well, I began, “Do you know how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly?” [thank goodness for Dora the Explorer and the science channel that they both love to watch! Ayden wants to be a Zookeeper! and Nadia is convinced she wants to be Rapunzel– the beautiful princess with the long, blond hair!]

Both responded, “Yes!”

Well, that is what happens when we die; we become an angel, our bones stay behind, and just like the caterpillar turns into a butterfly, we turn into angels and then we live with God in Love.”

They were swinging into the air and they seemed content and I was content.

Wooden Angel Stock Photo

drawn into LOVE

sometimes the force draws you in

all conscious thought dissipates

you no longer feel your hands

you no longer feel your feet

your body disappears altogether

your emotions fill your being

you forget yourself

you are drawn in towards  the other

you are no longer you

you are ONE

you are pure love

the sun is no longer the sun

you become one with the glow

the colors blend with your soul

you are totally absorbed

you are no longer you

you are ONE

you are pure LOVE

the waves wash over your being

swimming in crystal water love

you and the water become one

you are no longer you

you are ONE

you are pure LOVE

you no longer feel alone

your self has disappeared

totally immersed in feeling

you are no longer you

you are ONE

you are pure LOVE

love becomes you

each WOMAN, each young GIRL is a GIFT…treat yourself with respect and treat her with respect!

Girl at sunset

Girl at sunset (Photo credit: nxb)

The young girl and woman in our world needs to be elevated to personhood! How many thousands of light years have passed, and still women and girls are treated with disdain and lack of respect?  Women and young girls are looked upon as only sex objects or slaves in every country and society of this world. Too many women and young girls do not think they are worth something without a man beside them.

Women and girls everywhere must believe in their own innate goodness!  We are worthy because we are!  Each woman and girl is worthy because she was born!  Being born makes you worthy!

Our connection to ourselves and to each other is broken. We must revitalize that connection to each other. We must look at our very nature which is to give life…and I am not just speaking about procreation…I am talking about our nature to be life-givers…love-givers…nurturers! We have to give that love to ourselves. We need to respect our own needs and desires.  Naturally, we eat when we are hungry, we sleep when we are tired, but when we need love, do we tell ourselves: “I love you, Self!” ?

I read just the other day of a  15 year old girl who was gang-raped. The law enforcement did next to nothing to help her in her situation. The young boys who sexually abused her were not brought to task for their deed but instead, ridiculed the girl even more after the horrific event! The ability of the sexual abusers to disseminate the poor plight of this young girl through the social media that is available today , drove this girl to her death.  Ultimately, she committed suicide. Unfortunately, I believe this same horrible crime occurs everyday somewhere in this world.  The woman or girl is blamed for being female and the “boys were just being boys.”  Rape is murder — it is murder of the human spirit of the girl or woman!

I feel we are all at fault for not promoting the self-worth of the female person. Women everywhere need to help other women. Help each other and each day make it your priority to uplift one woman or one girl. Make one positive statement to that person — we need each other!

First, as a person, we need to know that we have worth. We are alive!  We have to first love ourselves…we are able to do this by recognizing that we are gift.  We need to be for ourselves what we think others can do for us.  BE the WORTH that you look for in others!

Raised in a Catholic home, and often told that God loved me, I was also constantly reminded that I should and ought to be selfless, and to love others and to help others.  Somehow, to help myself, did not occur to me.  Somehow, I received the message that if I did things for myself, then I was NOT being a good Christian.  I was being selfish and not thinking of what I could do to help someone else. Today, I still struggle with loving myself as I should. I still struggle with self-worth, and I have two college degrees, held teaching jobs for over 36 years, helped to raise my three daughters, and still struggle with self-esteem! The external things are there that would say I was relatively successful in life, but my interior compass, needs constant reassurance and strengthening. I have to take the time each day to meditate and go to that inner core and find my worth.  I have to do this for me! I take the time for me! Quiet and mediation because I am worth the time!

Women and girls need to believe they are worth being loved in truth!

Do not accept being hit or abused as a form of love.  That is not love.  Would you hit yourself? Would you scream and berate yourself? “NO! Of course not, you say to me.”  Well, then do NOT accept that behavior from your husband or boyfriend.  YOU have WORTH!

Seek out that partner who loves your gentle soul.  Seek out that partner who does not need to control you, your every move, your friendships…that person is NOT healthy and is a control freak and manipulative. True love is trusting and allows freedom to love many.  I am NOT negating committed relationships.  I just think that when one person tells another whom they can speak to –this erodes your own responsibility to care for yourself and make your own decisions.  When your boyfriend or husband tries to distance you from your family, it is a control issue.  It is not because he cares about you. That person wants you under his power. Once a boyfriend or husband breaks that boundary of hitting you, it will happen again, again, again, again and again…until your spirit is so broken…that you will either die or wither…and then…will you be fortunate to find that last glimmer of hope to lift yourself from the ashes? or ….?

Do NOT think you do not have worth, because you do not have a man on your arm. I know that there are good men and good teenage boys…however, IF you need someone else to complete you, then you have NOT done your homework for yourself. Then you do not love and respect yourself !   No one can complete you but you!

Believe in you!

You are WORTHY….you should not be hit or abused in any way!

We have to see that we have all that we need within…go to your core…and listen to your inner heart.  Darling, talk to yourself and tell you that you love you each morning when you awake!

Tell yourself, “Darling, you are on a fascinating journey and you are doing a great job each day!”

And when you find yourself in a situation that is not good, do as this saying suggests, author unknown, “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.”

Please remember, that the universe thought you were a good idea… and DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOU…ever!

Relationships are good and important in our lives, helping one another is good and important in our lives…but we have to first love ourselves, only then, can we truly love another.  As Goethe said, “Believe in yourself, and you will know how to live.”

As the saying goes, “Understand that you own nothing. Everything that surrounds you is temporary. Only the love in your heart will last forever.”  And, YOU are LOVE!

“I wish that I could show you that when  you are alone or in darkness, the astonishing LIGHT of your own being!”   Hafiz


(from author) "Sand, silt, clay and organ...

(from author) “Sand, silt, clay and organic matter bind together to provide stucture to the soil. The individual units of structure are called peds.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

human clay

dried up

slipping away

despairing creature

grab hold of the Truth

allow the Hand to mold you

ground into the Being of God

open yourself

let the healing waters pour in

shape you

strengthen you

make you solid

like rock

live in love




© 2011 Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.



Outcast-simbolo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anawim, the poor,  to God  cry out…

Please,  please hear our shouts

“I’m on the bottom…nowhere to turn…

Help me to discern…with your love there is no earn

Keep the awareness of YOU …God of LIFE…within  us strong

Do not let me capitulate to the wrong

so alone I feel… the pain inside reels

But I know you see and feel my human deal

feelings crashing into the rocks of my mind

God, you know for YOU I pine…

The outcasts of the LORD…To whom do we go?

The outcasts of the LORD…from YOU all love flows…

YOU are there for us… the psalmsist writes

Thank YOU for sending the surviving kite!

* * * * * *

© 2012 Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.