heartbreak

Oil Painting by Jane H. Johann  c.1982

Oil Painting by Jane H. Johann c.1982

the sugar sweet strawberry red sunset

fired burnt crimson images into my soul

delving deep into the recesses of my mind

as the emotions spilled out coffee conversations

the deafening silence between us

with the intent to resolve the unresolvable

what happens when one comes to an impasse

when view of the other ceases to exist

when the ego takes over and only resists

where does the imagination take one’s heart

where no compromise can be reached

how painful is that brick wall

concussion dead center in the middle of disbelief

smiling and talking one day

and then it disappears in a flash

the strawberry red sunset transforms

the heart into a bleeding gash

 

 

The short stories, the musings, the photography  or images(except where otherwise noted), the paintings and the poetry are my original work. These texts are protected under International Copyright ©laws.  Whenever any image or writing is created or written by another individual, proper credit is given to that individual if known. Every effort is made to give credit where credit is due.   All rights are reserved by the owner (author).Reblogs on WordPress are permitted as long as proper credit and links are provided to this site.  None of my writings, paintings or postings should be downloaded, reproduced, copied, projected or used in any manner without written permission of the owner (author).Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights. I appreciate your integrity and hope you will respect mine. Thank you! 
Jane H. Johann      October, 2011           ©2011-2020 Jane H. Johann. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer Notice:     This blog contains works of fiction/nonfiction. Names, characters, businesses,places, events and incident are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise noted.

 

now and then

10378194_275643932625944_3945083716131264479_nnow and then I think of you

as I sit here looking at the empty chair across the kitchen table

now and then I miss you

the absence of you preparing the oatmeal as only you were able

 

the ready smile upon your lips

what happened to the promise of tomorrow

what happened to the hope unfulfilled

leaping out of my heart as the whispered dish of sorrow

 

the sun rises each morning

orange red blood like drops of glory

yet I sit here paralyzed in thought

dying like the stagnant pond of algae

The short stories, the musings, the photography  or images(except where otherwise noted), the paintings and the poetry are my original work. These texts are protected under International Copyright ©laws.  Whenever any image or writing is created or written by another individual, proper credit is given to that individual if known. Every effort is made to give credit where credit is due.   All rights are reserved by the owner (author).Reblogs on WordPress are permitted as long as proper credit and links are provided to this site.  None of my writings, paintings or postings should be downloaded, reproduced, copied, projected or used in any manner without written permission of the owner (author).Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights. I appreciate your integrity and hope you will respect mine. Thank you! 
Jane H. Johann      October, 2011           ©2011-2020 Jane H. Johann. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer Notice:     This blog contains works of fiction/nonfiction. Names, characters, businesses,places, events and incident are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise noted.

cicadas’ cacophony

all is stillness

"Moonscape" Photo Credit: Coyright: B. Bennett; August, 2014

“Moonscape”
Photo Credit:
Coyright: B. Bennett;
August, 2014

the darkness only penetrated by the cacophony of the cicadas

who have continued their symphony throughout the night

singing on a rather high note, their song seems to intensify

as the night is slowly leaving, waiting for dawn to arrive

the flowers are whispering their goodbyes

yet the cicada gives us promise of new life

amid the farewells about us

 

 

Sites to reference about the CICADA:

http://www.insectsingers.com/100th_meridian_cicadas/songs/05.US.MS.RPR.T07.Neotibicen_auletes_filtered.mp3

http://www.cicadamania.com/audio/

the flowers are whispering their goodbyes

beauty is born into life

and one by one

they say their goodbyes

Coneflowers; Photo by J.H Johann, Palmyra Perennial Garden, c. July, 2014.

Coneflowers; Photo by J.H Johann, Palmyra Perennial Garden, c. July, 2014.

 

“…Yours Always, Part of You.”

The following article was posted in http://kindnessblog.com/2015/08/20/yours-always-part-of-you/. It is a beautiful posting about gratitude and sharing.
Please direct your comments to: http://kindnessblog.com/

Kindness Blog's avatarKindness Blog

organ donation kindnessWe all know how important organ, blood and bone-marrow donations are. Especially for those who receive a much-needed donation which improves or even saves the donor recipient’s life.

It is especially difficult to think about organ donation as most of us have deep held fears about our own mortality. However, when we do give thought to this, we realise that there’s only three choices for what happens to our organs after we die. Either they go with us to the Grave, the Crematorium or…they can go in to the body of a desperate Human in need.

How is it even a choice?

Reddit user ‘walt1177’ recently wrote:

“I donated bone marrow to a stranger, received this letter in return.”

organ donation kindnessbone marrow kindnessThis grateful Human signed the letter off with “Yours always, Part of you”.

Doesn’t that just say it all?


Please Encourage Organ, Blood and Bone-Marrow Donations by Sharing This Article…

View original post 4 more words

sundrops of yesterday

 

 

Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann, Jasper, Alberta, Canada, 2013.

Photo Credit: Jane H. Johann, Jasper, Alberta, Canada, 2013.

sundrops of yesterday

hasta garden variety

flooding my mind

as I tiptoe through midnight crashes

of sourdough bread

Downtown Abbey personified

bookend trips to the city

marked by a movie

museum wonderland

exotic meal out

delivered from the regular

comforted by the fact

that YOU were alive

that YOU were here

present to me…

at least so i thought–

now questioning my sanity

were you here or were you not?

do you know what it is like to be alone?

It is being surrounded by 48 empty hours in one day

…no, not a mistake, time is compounded

dragging me deep into a bottomless chasm

 

 

Copyright © Notice
The short stories, the musings, the photography  or images(except where otherwise noted), the paintings and the poetry are my original work. These texts are protected under International Copyright ©laws.  Whenever any image or writing is created or written by another individual, proper credit is given to that individual if known. Every effort is made to give credit where credit is due.   All rights are reserved by the owner (author).Reblogs on WordPress are permitted as long as proper credit and links are provided to this site.  None of my writings, paintings or postings should be downloaded, reproduced, copied, projected or used in any manner without written permission of the owner (author).Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights. I appreciate your integrity and hope you will respect mine. Thank you! 
Jane H. Johann      October, 2011           ©2011-2020 Jane H. Johann. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer Notice:     This blog contains works of fiction/nonfiction. Names, characters, businesses,places, events and incident are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise noted.

 

the little boy’s cry

we had returned from a full evening of joyous celebration

everyone changed where they were going to sleep several times

as the heat this August night is unbearable and no air-conditioning

first Nadia camped out with Lara in the bedroom

then soon found herself next to her Nanny in her queen size bed

 

Ayden began his sleep in the living room

then declared his manhood  at the age of eight and sauntered down alone to his room

Nanny was alert and awake…trying to rest her eyes

almost eleven oc’clock when she heard the little boy”s cry

she flew from her bed and went to Ayden’s room

 

there he lay sobbing on his bed and crying,

“Nanny, you said you would come if I cried!?”

“Darling, what is the matter?” as she picked him up and held him in her arms

Again he said, “Nanny, you said you would come if I cried!?”

Again, Nanny replied, “And I have, Ayden, here I am for you!”

 

“But, Nanny, I was crying in Day Care for you last week and you didn’t come?”

he sobbed as he spoke…and my heart took a jolt

How do you explain you are three hours away

And only allowed a once upon a time monthly visit?

He went on to explain, “They are mean to me in DayCare…they don’t get me.”

 

“I cried and cried so hard and wanted you to come, but you didn’t!

Because I had a hard time the day before, and cried and cried, they wouldn’t let me go to the pool

the next day. And I cried and cried, hoping you would come…but you didn’t and I cried so hard.”

“Ayden, did you tell your Dad?”

“Yes, but he said it would be the same in any Day Care. It made me so sad.”

 

“Ayden, darling, I didn’t know…but I think of you each morning, and throughout the day,

and I carry YOU in my heart…I wish you lived closer…I wish I could see you more…

I do love you…maybe one day it will be different… I will speak to your Dad about it and maybe he can talk to the Day Care.”

And he cried more, sobbing in my arms.

“What can I do, my darling boy?”

 

And he said, “I wish I could see you more.  I love you so much, Nanny,

and I miss you so much! I wish you could come more often.”

And I said, “Me, too. I wish I lived closer.”

…and then, I dried his tears, and there he fell asleep in my arms…

and my heart cried for this little boy who just needs to be loved…IMAG4354

 

 

 

August Fridays

sweet aroma of the corn harvest

drifts in from the fields

flaky butter crust

dressing the country table

zucchini celebrating overflow

tomatoes are ripening

yellow beans dancing in a row

green broccoli dreams

 My daughters, 1996, Sara, Annie and Lara, standing by the little garden they planted.


My daughters, 1996, Sara, Annie and Lara, standing by the little garden they planted.

sweet peas tiptoeing into our mouths

feast is upon us

as butterflies migrate towards the south

with the flowers giving their last hurrah

 

 

Maybe only God can do this…

You hear

the whisper

behind my words

The words

that cannot be spoken

but need to be heard

You listen

to the silence

of my heart

The cries…the struggle…

the pains…

all the intricate parts…

Alberta, Canada "Dawn Breaking" Photo Credit: Jane Johann c.2013

Alberta, Canada “Dawn Breaking” Photo Credit: Jane Johann c.2013

tears fill my being

life within is struggling

for breath

confusion and rejection

felt so strong

traveling to the ocean depth

logic took a vacation

emotions take over

without defeat

but something holds me strong

LOVE is there

and so it is YOU I meet

 

 

Copyright © Notice
The short stories, the musings, the photography  or images(except where otherwise noted), the paintings and the poetry are my original work. These texts are protected under International Copyright ©laws.  Whenever any image or writing is created or written by another individual, proper credit is given to that individual if known. Every effort is made to give credit where credit is due.   All rights are reserved by the owner (author).Reblogs on WordPress are permitted as long as proper credit and links are provided to this site.  None of my writings, paintings or postings should be downloaded, reproduced, copied, projected or used in any manner without written permission of the owner (author).Thank you for respecting the intellectual property rights. I appreciate your integrity and hope you will respect mine. Thank you! 
Jane H. Johann      October, 2011           ©2011-2020 Jane H. Johann. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer Notice:     This blog contains works of fiction/nonfiction. Names, characters, businesses,places, events and incident are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, unless otherwise noted.

 

 

 

 

World’s Petitions…just a few

I signed one petition for Care2 Petitions and then I received a deluge of petitions.  Overwhelming.  Overwhelming to see all the needs that there are on Mother Earth.  Petitions for justice, healthcare reform, respect for women, care for children, care for the homeless, fairness, economic equity, gender fairness, proper treatment of animals, respect for Earth —- the list below is a small sampling of the needs of humanity. It is overwhelming.  

Provide support and funding for local Texas shelter

VA Stop Sabotaging  TBI tests. Offer all veterans proper evaluation and treatment

Harshest Charge for blowing up fireworks in dog’s mouth and ban of future animal ownership

Reject the 20 week abortion ban

Support Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary to avoid closure

Save Wild Arizona Horses from Banishment

Revoke Licenses of Vets who euthanize pets without permission

Tell San Francisco Not to Crack Down on Bicyclists

Urge Lawmakers to Pass the Paycheck Fairness Act

STOP putting dyed chicks in plastic bags to be sold as TOYS on Thai island Koh Lanta

Urge Yum Foods to Offer Paid Sick and Vacation Days to Workers

Drop case against mother who provided daughter with abortion medication in Northern Ireland

Stop the Dehumanizing Gender Testing of Women’s World Cup Athletes

Congress –Investigate American Hate Groups’

Get the Toxic Trio out of Nail Care Products

Send Magnus Hustveit, who raped his girlfriend, to prison!

Tell Harvard University to divest from fossil fuels

Harper:  Don’t Let Your Big Oil Friends Run the National Energy Board!

Urge Nestle to Help Stop Slave Labor Used to Make Pet Food

Stop Scott Walker’s Weekend Elimination Plan

Congress to Increase the Federal Minimum Wage

Tell Republicans Reject Racist Donations

Tell Congress to Increase the Federal Minimum Wage

End the Travel Restrictions Placed on Disabled Australians!

Who is Burning Black Churches? Bring back the Church Arson Task Force

Urgent! We need a shelter for homeless women in Vancouver, Washington!

Tell Hong Kong to Crack Down on Ivory Smuggling!

Demand Universal, Automatic voter Registration

Tell the UN— Women and Girls and Deserve Equality

Zimbabwe: Don’t bring back the death penalty after ten years.

Save Torrent Frogs in the Ivory Coast

I am only ONE person. I can choose to help with one or several and give it my attention, and that I all I can do.  I can see we need EVERYONE to pitch in and do what they can.  None of us can do it alone. We all need to help each other with whatever we have to offer.  There certainly is much to do to alleviate suffering in this world.  We live in a world community and what we say and/or do affects one another.

If each person does ONE thing, it is already something. I think being a person of peace and praying is something everyone can do and be. Yet that might be difficult if we do not believe in ourselves or our own goodness…and that could be the result of someone not ever believing in us or trusting us to change. Yet, change is the only constant.

I believe in the positive power of prayer and putting forth good thoughts to each other and out into the universe. I see what bad thoughts to do harm others—so why wouldn’t good thoughts produce good reactions?   One would think that is a simple thing to do. However, it is not.  Sometimes my own suffering gets in the way–my own inability to forgive and forget and move on. However, if I do not do it, I am not living in peace and I am not extending peace to anyone else.   I look at the list above, and think even the rapist needs forgiveness and healing.

Yet, forgiveness is difficult, but without there is no movement forward. I think every person deserves a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance…when do we stop giving each other opportunities and forgiveness?  I firmly believe that IF we believe in the other person, that person can grow and change.  Believing in each other produces change. We are human beings. We are all imperfect.

The recent murder of Cecil the Lion brought forth reaction from around the world.  There was complete dismay and outrage over the killing of this wonderful animal. Yes, it was sad and I have never understood why  anyone finds pleasure in hanging a dead animal’s head on their living room wall.  People were so angry, that they even wanted the dentist executed for his killing of this animal! I could not believe that! That is extreme. I have never understood retaliation or revenge. How does that help anyone?  People were very willing to express their hatred for this man who killed Cecil, the lion, yet, they, in turn would be ready to kill him for what he did. Would that be justified?  As Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind.”

As human beings, we have a long road to travel to become understanding and forgiving of one another. And that great distance is the furthest within ourselves. The more we accept ourselves and our imperfections…the more we can forgive ourselves…the more we will understand and forgive others

Oglala Lakota Holyman