there is nothing so devastating

as when a son or daughter leave you

without a word…

…no call

…no note…

just

GONE…

the emptiness remains forever

the mind cannot quiet itself

questions continually rise

left on the precipice of doubt

no consolation exists

the pain cuts razor deep into the heart…

we are a parent

we are meant to love and protect our child

we are meant to  help them face life

each child is a part of us

not one of them is less

the one we tried to share the best of ourselves with

the one we gave our last ounce of energy to

the one we would wait for to come home at night

the one who would call us to come and help

and we would go and  bring the child home

the one we would sit through countless hours of  recitals with..

now this child has tiptoed into stages unfamiliar…

this one…where is this child?

our hope for beauty for this child

has been sidestepped…

this child disappears into the night

part of us is lost

we worry…we cannot sleep

our child is flung to the high seas

tossed from one wave to another

and we cannot reach them…

we cannot bring them to safety

we sit adrift our memories and thoughts

we blame ourselves

what happened? where did I go wrong?

streams of should have, would have, could have

flood our brain

they are the love crystals of our being

we want them to be safe

we want to help them

and

hold them close

and

we can’t…

our heart is near breaking

our thoughts hasten to the one who is                                                                                                               

lost…

and the tears fall

like raindrops in a monsoon

soaked into the Earth

and the Earth is drenched with sorrow

and…still…

the child hears us not

we were told we had to let them go…

they were gifts not possessions

let them go…

but our hearts are with them

and

our prayers never cease