this one says to that one
why do they leave me
this one says to that one
I can’t stand her
this one says to that one
I need someone
this one says to that one
what an idiot
this one says to that one
she is a whore
**
and we wonder WHY there is loneliness in this world?
“Mother & Daughter” Silicone by Elaine Lawrence
the intricate weavings of the heart
encircle the gratitude of love
as the chance openness of another
travels into your life
the universe sends the goodness to you
lifting you up and out into the unknown
once again beckoning you to life
drawing you out of your inner line of demarcation
love seeks you and reaches for you
not wanting you to be lost
Remembering a kind and gentle person who welcomed everyone.
Sue saw no human barriers–she did not flinch from those who were downtrodden or with the last dollar in their pocket. She would treat each person as a gift from God. She gave of her heart completely. Sue has left us far too soon.
February 9, 1949 – November 9, 2012
Sue McIntyre
colors lightly dancing through her life
to the beat of the native drum
quick to help, to solve, to offer
to all that to her would come
a keen eye for justice
an open hand she always shared
her love for everyone
…no one she ever spared
her smile was effervescent…
a gentleness too kind for this world…
possessing a heart so soft
perhaps too caring for the cruelty sometimes hurled
Hummingbird would harken
if a poor homeless person a conversation needed
listening to her or his story
to human openness she heeded
perhaps she gave too much
some would say that she did
perhaps she needed more than we could give
so who is the lesser now that only we do live
perhaps she meant to tell us
to always love and forgive
perhaps that is the difference between saint and sinner
the ones who hold back and the ones who share their dinner
quickly her smile would be on her face…
a little giggle that was all her own
as she would run her fingers through her hair
like a finely grooming comb
akin to the hummingbird she was
quick-paced, flight to and fro
always seeking new ways
to love, to laugh, to grow
her red truck was a symbol
her bold determination
proudly proclaiming her stance
not fearing condemnation
more guts than most of us
a lesbian she was…a woman proud
she did not hide her truth
behind an ominous cloud
her blazing red truck
had every equality banner it could bear
the prism of rainbow color
was her badge of flare
she accepted herself as she was
it took courage to be “out”
she accepted her womanhood
it took courage amid the hateful shouts
she opened up the world to many
took no flight from the fight
she stood for honesty and truth
and for everyone their rights
her camera’s inner eye
felt the subtleties of life
the red barn on the hillside
the hummingbird’s fife
the curious little kitten
who braved the crack in the fence
the abandoned truck in the field
the barn silo guarding it intense
the turtles crossing unforgiven
the log of life, moment by moment, one by one
the seagull with its own reflection
in the blue ocean woven, its solo song sung
the rising of the sun
so gold and strong
the setting of the night
to her alone belonged
she endured
the rejection from her own
…she continued
looking for a home
yet in her darkest moment
she was alone
she forgot we were there
she did not reach for the phone
what shielded you from that love of ours
what dark force took hold of you those final hours
now I am left here
with remorse of what I could have should have done
now I am left here with a heart so broken, many words unspoken
run and find her so she would not feel shunned
Hummingbird was her chosen name…
her mind was as quick as its wings
her heart so genuine and true…
now her spirit sings
once her heart was close to mine
…once I held her to myself
and now she left for the great beyond
and my love sits on the shelf
Sue was who she was
who knew how delicate she was inside
she made no apologies
who understood the fears that did abide
who took the time to be by her side
perhaps her honesty was too much
a threat to reality for the rest of us
afraid to go beyond the human touch
why are we so slow to love?
now I feel her loneliness and pain..
why couldn’t we give her what she needed?
but I will never see her face again
the tears cascade
pain wrenches my heart
…for you i want to race…
oh my God, oh why, did we have to part
the rising of the sun
so strong
the setting of the night
with her there was no wrong
LOVE you have taken her home to yourself
with YOU she is at peace in the great above
we remain here on Earth
to continue with her love
***
we remain here to be the Hummingbird to others
we can only honor her by becoming …
…more open
…more receiving
…more listening
…more mindful
of how we affect one another
you ask us to be ready to be there… for someone might need us
Sue, you are now with God…basking in Her LOVE
I know light and peace surround you…
help us here on Earth to be the LIGHT you were to many
I miss you
and my heart grieves at your absence…
it is your birthday today…and today i found that you left us
so we celebrate you…we honor you…
help us to be as good to others as you always were…
goodbye my dear friend…adieu
I will seek you out in the morning dew…
your Spirit I pray shall make me new
Photo Credit: Jane Johann
the disease of Catch 22
–one of millions
who has it–
invitation came
accepted to the party
without my confirmation
what do i do?
my car
sits in the garage
–odd in itself that the junk accummulated
over the years has been finally removed,
so the Corolla that was bought in 2005
with 36,000 miles on it and cost me $15,000-
more value than my life —
is finally given a prestigious place
in the household–
although…
it does not run…
engine is puttering strange sounds
the brakes are grinding
like the 50 cents in my pocket
that is going towards repairing it…
some day
MEANWHILE
i wake in the middle of the night
pondering
how can i fix my car
can i find a job
to pay for its repair
but how will i get to the job
when i do not have the fare
MEANWHILE
the bills are mounting
do i get a job for $7.46 an hour
that will cost me the Social Security payment
that I worked for 35 years of teaching to accumulate?
MEANWHILE
the public is angry at me
because i taught their children
for $5000 a year in 1980
held three other part-time jobs while teaching full-time during the day
but then everyone, including myself,
had to pay property taxes,
to pay my salary…
MEANWHILE
the Governor of Wisconsin
says i was one of the million–there is that phrase AGAIN–
that caused the economic collapse of this state
WHO would have thought that MY SALARY would do such a thing?
MEANWHILE
if i work and earn $7.46 an hour
i will have to repay $1 for every $2 i earn
back to Social Security
because thirty-five years of teaching was not enough
not to mention the other six years of working in a nursing home
being a receptionist for awhile
getting taxed on the $11 i made doing a calligraphy job
and other odd jobs
to get myself through school
–did not count–
but my Corolla is safe in the garage
and i cannot capitalize i anymore
i have been lost among the millions…
the disease of Catch22
…i would be thinking of my lesson plans on Friday
so all of the thoughts would cascade over their conscious stream of mind on Mondays
…i would correct English compositions in the evening after my three would snuggle into bed…
then early the next day, i would kiss them goodbye
and cry all the way to work, to leave my darlings behind…
while i went to teach other people’s children…
and give them my best…
while at home my own children slept…
…how wrenching it was to me…
however, once there, the children before me became my own…
now…however…all are gone…
my students and my children…
and I sit here
at the keyboard
in the middle of the night
wondering, what did i do?
why does the public hate me so?
i taught their children
i was the best i could be
but then forced out of teaching
because after thirty-five years i finally hit the pay ceiling
…and now
i can’t sleep at night…
i wake and think
of what use am i?
Catch 22
a term when i was young
i did not understand
but now
i am living it…
one of millions…
the day is opening before you
inviting you to step inside
January Morning Sunrise, 2012 Palmyra, WI
Photo credit: Jane H. Johann
the eye inside
speaking sides
shades of truth
Master Sleuth
Oil Painting by Jane H Johann, 2012
(photo credit: Jane Johann)
through the silence is heard–
w h i s p e r s…please
milkweed w h i s p e r s aloft in the breeze
love w h i s p e r s…breath abating…
w h i s p e r invites your partaking
speaking w h i s p e r s through dispersed fallen leaves
w h i s p e r s like delicate snowflakes caressing the trees
w h i s p e r s in each breath of air nursed
singing w h i s p e r s with each teardrop unrehearsed…
w h i s p e r s penetrate the chambers of the heart
w h i s p e r s intense blood-letting from the start
w h i s p e r s cascading like dancing stars
softly, deeply, w h i s p e r i n g walks with love’s falling star
w h i s p e r s whispering love from afar
(Photo Credit: Janet Shingleton)
have not my words melted your heart?
has not my song soothed the hunger of your soul?
early this morning the frog green whistles
echoed through the foggy marsh thistles
capturing the longing of a friend for a friend…is this your part?
have not my words melted your heart?
has not my song soothed the hunger of your soul?
…the breakfast was lonely…despite the watering orange
that juiced the tangerine sauced pastry
my being longing for more…in this dark
have not my words melted your heart?
has not my song soothed the hunger of your soul?
the afternoon rain clouds giggled in delight
as its thunderous hammer struck deep my plight
voicing the sound of my sorrowful part
have not my words melted your heart?
has not my song soothed the hunger of your soul?
wanting, waiting…anticipation…
the sugar sweet strawberry red sunset
******************************************************
May 19, 2002
English: Rubinstein Romance op44-1 page3 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
piano petals
softly
invade your heart
carrying you
into your lover’s arms
dancing delightfully
into all of their charm
© 2012 Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
(from author) “Sand, silt, clay and organic matter bind together to provide stucture to the soil. The individual units of structure are called peds.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
human clay
dried up
slipping away
despairing creature
grab hold of the Truth
allow the Hand to mold you
ground into the Being of God
open yourself
let the healing waters pour in
shape you
strengthen you
make you solid
like rock
live in love
******************************************************************************************************************************
© 2011 Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jane H. Johann and johannisthinking.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.Art using the mediums: Charcoal, Pen & Ink, Acrylic, Watercolour; Earth colour; Mixed Media and Photography.
Culture and Communities at the Heart Of India
Anita Blogue
Where The Eagles Fly . . . . Art Science Poetry Music & Ideas
Blogging about Culture, Equity, and the Arts since 2013
Simple Vegetarian Cooking
Karen Molenaar Terrell
Sharing the beauty and joy of Bellingham Bay
Molenaar-Terrell Photography
A Fun Way to Learn Chinese
...because that's all relationships really are
A Walkers' Journal...Talking Our Walk
Johannisthinking. Poetry.Essays on Life
The It Gets Better Project exists to uplift, empower, and connect LGBTQ+ youth around the globe.
Gayle Polansky Photography in Albuquerque New Mexico
Blogging about Photography and Travel
Author Website and Blog
हिन्दी कविताएँ एवं कहानियाँ
Footprints of Thoughts 
You must be logged in to post a comment.