waterfall love

English: Rock waterfall in the north fork of t...

English: Rock waterfall in the north fork of the Virgin River near Zion National Park’s Temple of Sinawava. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

catching your tears and carrying them in my heart darling

cascading emotions tumble over the rocks

narrowing into the crevices of the feelings

water crystal friends

sing…dance with joy…

love with exhilaration

flowing through …together on the journey

but never settling down

Why I Write

Signature of Kahlil Gibran

Signature of Kahlil Gibran (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it so that the other half may reach you.”

–from “The Forerunner” (1920)
   Kahlil Gibran
 

"Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it so that the other half may reach you."</p><br /><br /><br />
<p><br /><br /><br /><br />
--from "The Forerunner" (1920)

 
Why do I write?
I write because I feel this need inside of myself to express who I am.
 
I do not know who will read me…or if anyone at all will read my words. I do not know if the words I write will have any effect on anyone or on the world.
 
I do know that when I write, I feel like I have a purpose. I feel like I am alive and it gives me courage to be myself. I feel less threatened by the world.
 
My passion for life seems to get in the way of being received.  I know I am an intense person. I can get very passionate about what I am saying or feeling.  Even if I say nothing, people who know me a bit, feel my passion through my being.  I feel that some people fear me because of it. This saddens me. I have no desire to hurt anyone. In fact, quite the opposite…I feel I want to protect others.  I find the only way I can do this successfully is through my words in the hope that some of what I write may help to give light to the world…to bring love into the world.  Some people are threatened by my words…they think I may be attacking them…maybe some days I am saying what I think needs to be said—but I try intensely to only say or write things that are the truth and need to be said to help them be more free…more open.  So perhaps it is good that I stick to writing, because then one can decide to read it or not.  I find even in my attempt to write, depending on the person and their mood and feelings, I may be bringing them pain.  The perceptions of the individual will color what they read.
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My perceptions color what I write.
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Today I wrote about my writing to a dear friend, whom I have never met in person.  I remarked: “No, the “PedalPushingThoughts@wordpress.com blog is a diversion so I stop thinking about love.  I thought I needed a second blog so that I did not write just about love.
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This  very special Someone said to me today: “giggle over laugh out loud over smile…..Jane, you never write about anything else But Love…..giggle. “
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I write to communicate and to feel less lonely in this world of seven billion people.
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Perhaps one small phrase may encourage someone to give love to someone else.
 

Nadia…my little doctor

Nadia, my Granddaughter,  who is almost 4 and 1/2  (she likes to think she is “older” and grown-up…so that 1/2 is important) stepped into her medical shoes last evening! After dinner, I went to lie down as my back was in horrible pain. Nadia came in to check on me. She asked where the “doctor stuff” was. We have a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff still in the house from when my Mom came home to  live with us.

Nadia proceeded to the drawer and pulled out the stethoscope and carefully crawled on to the bed to listen to my heart. Her face became clouded, when she announced to me, “Nanny, I can’t hear your heart!”

I responded with equal surprise, and encouraged her by saying, “Perhaps you should go and check your Mom’s and your Aunt Lara’s heartbeats, to see if the stethoscope is working!”  Off she went to the kitchen where they were in conversation.

She returned in a few minutes, announcing to me that their hearts were just fine and the stethoscope was working. So she listened for my heartbeat again.  Then she confidently, and with a bit of caution,  announced, “Nanny, I can only hear your heart a little bit because your heart is tired.  You are tired from the monsters in your back.”

Then she listened to my legs. “Nanny, you have Princesses in your legs!”

Then she listened to my arms, “Nanny, you have ants in your arms!”

Then she said, “I have to go into the kitchen.”

Eventually she returned with a drawing that she had made for me several days ago and that was hanging on the proverbial refrigerator bulletin board.  “Nanny,” spoke Nadia with intense eyes and orders for me, “You must keep this picture on your tummy ALL night, so that the monsters come out of your body, up and through this picture and go out the window! Then be careful and do not step on these monsters again when you go outside! The monsters in your back will go away!”

She also told me that the Princesses would battle with the monsters in my back and that the ants were the soldiers fighting for me as well!

What she didn’t say, but was said through her words and actions, was that she loved me.  These love crystals helped relieve me of the monsters! Little Nadia understands life and what we need so much better than all of us!

Wash Away the Illusion of Loneliness

       
 
 
what is loneliness?

it is an illusion

isolation confusion

fear of being by oneself

feeling separate on the life shelf

unconnected and dismayed

climb out of yourself  and face the day

be gentle with yourself

 inconvenience oneself

accept that you are loveable

not only culpable

accept that you are part of something greater than yourself

you must bring oneself

to the waiting God of LOVE

you are never alone…hand and glove

…remember…go your Center

be at peace in Love tender

passionate desire

The Black Stallion (film)

The Black Stallion (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

desire…noble, defenseless desire seeks its want

you find it within yourself…your happiness you flaunt

tension deliciously mounts with numerous increases as you jaunt

your heart runs, ignoring the geo-political thread detente

 

 

…like the  black stallion in the dark night, speeding onward without delay

…like the blue wave cresting over itself, heedless of any obstacle in its way

…like the brilliance of a summer sunset, streaking its  copper orange passion hues through sky’s roadway

 

Waves crashing

Waves crashing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

your heart knows no bounds

… turns in every possible direction

flounders… stumbling over its own emotions…no selection

…cascading into

turbulent joy, no honorable mention

your heart runs and runs…

Waves crashing on rocks on the Southern Oregon...

Waves crashing on rocks on the Southern Oregon Coast. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…oblivious of what is not there

…oblivious of the blank  stares

 ..oblivious of the one way flare

 

UNTIL

 

until…you see you are running alone 

until…you feel unrequited desire…no one home

until…you capture your sigh, realizing your heart was on loan

Waves crashing over rocks, Porto Moniz, Madeir...

Waves crashing over rocks, Porto Moniz, Madeira, Portugal (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


soul searching …part II

An overall view of an LG EnV mobile/cell phone.

An overall view of an LG EnV mobile/cell phone. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

what is that spark that first ignites?

the sudden click of a smile across the internet site

…the recognition…the someone other…finds you…

of all the billion people on the planet…you…it must be true

that one smiling click found you…and the intensity builds…

you find yourself stumbling  steep into  the love guild

crafting your every word…longing to be heard

your heart skips at every sound of the computer screen

you drop EVERYTHING you are doing to reach love pristine

the cell phone beeps and a text is waiting for your word

of course you will respond, you silly bird

you plan your day around the love you seek

clean the closet…wait for the sound…don’t go too far

or out of bounds…do the dishes…don’t wander to the stars

however, you still WONDER…and get carried away

you let reality slip…and your senses do stray

you have never had eye meets eye

you have never heard the person’s sigh

or…the slight brush of the hand against yours…

but you are convinced that she is yours for sure!

she tells you, “No”…but you do not hear it still

your brain runs past it and your heart does what it will

you are so convinced and determined to try

even if it never happens you will not let your love die

why are you so persistent, what is it that you refuse to hear?

why do you not hear the insistence, what is it that you seem to fear?